What's Your Love Style?
Love is not one thing. It never has been. The ancient Greeks understood this better than most modern dating advice ever will — they had at least eight distinct words for love, each describing a different texture of human connection. We collapsed all of them into a single four-letter word, and then we wonder why relationships feel so confusing.
In 1973, Canadian psychologist John Alan Lee published a theory that would reshape how researchers think about romantic love. Drawing on centuries of philosophical writing, literary analysis, and extensive interviews with real couples, Lee proposed his "Colors of Love" (Colours of Love: An Exploration of the Ways of Loving) framework — a typology arguing that love is not a single universal experience but a spectrum of distinct styles, each with its own logic, emotional signature, and behavioral pattern. Lee identified six primary love styles: Eros (passionate, consuming romantic love driven by physical attraction and emotional intensity), Ludus (playful, game-like love that thrives on excitement and variety), Storge (deep friendship-based love that grows slowly and quietly), Pragma (practical, rational love guided by compatibility and long-term logic), Mania (obsessive, possessive love marked by emotional highs and devastating lows), and Agape (selfless, sacrificial love that gives without expecting anything in return).
Lee's framework was not merely theoretical. Psychologists Clyde and Susan Hendrick later developed the Love Attitudes Scale (LAS), a validated psychometric instrument that measures individuals across all six love styles. Research using the LAS has been replicated across dozens of cultures and consistently finds that love style significantly predicts relationship satisfaction, conflict patterns, attachment behavior, and even the likelihood of staying together long-term. Your love style is not a trivial personality quirk — it is a core driver of your romantic life.
Quiz Questions
- Question 1: You meet someone new and feel an immediate spark. What happens next?
- Question 2: What does your ideal relationship look like in its best moments?
- Question 3: How do you typically handle conflict in a relationship?
- Question 4: What scares you most about love?
- Question 5: A close friend asks you to describe what love feels like to you. What do you say?